My husband surprised me with beautiful roses before my first night of class this semester. I was genuinely surprised and delighted. As we’ve been talking about Valentine’s Day coming up, I told him it was unnecessary to spend money on flowers. I realize that we have other needs right now, and we’ve been talking about buying some furniture for our boys’ bedroom. He said, “Furniture will last a lot longer than flowers, yes. BUT, I’m investing in a marriage that will last a life time. I’m investing in a happy wife, which has more meaning to me than stuff.” Tears sprang to my eyes at the sweetness of his comment.
He’s right. When we buy each other gifts, we’re not investing in ‘things’ that are here today and may be gone tomorrow. We’re investing our lives into one another.
I saw a joke posted on the facebook page of an old colleague recently that cracked me up. It said “A successful gym membership is like a marriage: if it’s good, you show up committed and ready for hard work. If it’s not good, you show up in sweatpants and watch a lot of bad TV.” I had a good laugh, but I’ve thought about how good our marriage has been, and I would attribute a lot of that to the hard work of my dear husband.
So, how should I respond? What can I do to bless him back? I began thinking about ways I can be a better wife. Several places in the Bible it talks about how awful it is to live with a quarrelsome wife. Twice it notes that a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping (Proverbs 19:13, 27:15) and twice it notes that it’s actually better to live on the corner of a roof than to live in a house with a quarrelsome wife (Proverbs 21:9, 25:24). The one that stands out to me, though, is the following verse: Proverbs 21:19 “Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife.” I had to think about it – have I been a quarrelsome wife? Maybe at times. This is one area I can immediately work on.
A recent devotion from my Bible also gave me more ideas. In talking about the ‘golden rule’ of treat others as you want to be treated, the author said to apply that to your spouse. When interviewing husbands, some ideas of how to treat them better was “Do my to-do list for me, really listen after you ask me how my day was, get a babysitter and take me on a date, take the kids to the park to give me some alone time, etc.” While the entire list may not speak my husband’s love language, I know that there are some ideas in there that would bless him. He also says that me taking good care of his kids is extremely meaningful to him.
In this season of love, how can we model Christ and be a servant of each other? How can we express sincere love to our spouses and invest in them? I’m praying each day to be a better wife! With God’s help and grace, hopefully I can be a gift to my husband as much as he is one to me.
What are ways that you’re trying to speak your spouse’s love language? What’s one thing you can do today to be a better partner and say “I love you?” Remember, with each moment and thoughtful idea, you’re investing in a relationship that will last a life-time!
VALGOOD 